How do I see you, when I can't even find you?

I know it's Thanksgiving and we're supposed to be recounting all the things for which we are thankful. My cup is usually at least half-full on a daily basis (hopeful optimist) so this exercise is typically a no-brainer for me...

...but NOT today.

I'm having a rough day.

Just the culmination of lots of rough days...hitting me all today...I suppose because I have a day off so I have time to think about it all.

So the last straw this morning was when I was attempting to be "productive", before going to Thanksgiving dinner, and trying to hang garland now so December 25th doesn't sneak up on me and I don't get to use my beautiful new garland from Costco. :0)

Well, I couldn't figure out how to get it to stay on the mantle without nails, tacks or anything else that would damage it. I tried duct tape, zip ties, velcro and even those Command strips, but it kept falling...ugh!! The meltdown ensued...

...I cried... (this went on for awhile)

Then I asked, no, complained really:

"God! Why aren't you helping me do this??! It should be so simple! Why won't you just help me?! Oh, am I not being positive enough?? Are you really even here right now? Or is this just about positive thinking and I'm not being positive enough??? Is that when you help your people, when they remain positive through the trials in their life??? (Whoa! where did that come from??)

This went on for awhile too...

Then I heard him say, "Just lay it all down --- the garland".
(I didn't want to do that because in some silly way it meant I'd failed. But I finally set the garland down on the ground again.)

Then, through my tears I heard, "The pure in heart will see God".

What does that mean exactly???

He said to my heart, "I have a window or vehicles that allows you to see me. Just like when you want to look at particles that are invisible to the naked eye you have to use the microscope to see them (and you don't complain that you "have" to use them). The vehicles I've given you to see me are faith & trust. "The pure in heart will see God" is not so much about being perfect before you can see me, but it is about the heart's focus...

...A singular focus...on Me."

I listened.

"You can try to use other vehicles to see me, but I've given you trust in me so you can see me. It's the window you will need to use. This distrust that you've had in your heart needed to come out. It was blocking you from seeing me."

"I will help you... Ask your husband for his assistance."

Okay, so truth is I didn't want to ask my husband because I've been nursing a hurt. But as soon as I did, he figured out a way to anchor the zip ties and in no time at all, the garland is now gorgeously (is that a word?) displayed on our mantle.

Lord, just as a muscle grows through use, so it is with Trust. When my focus is darting everywhere, and I can't find you, please refocus me on who you are and that your character of Love never changes. This will cause me to see you so I can trust in that amazing care you have for me...

...and Thank you so much Lord, for giving me my thankfulness back.

Isaiah 65:24  "I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!"